This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

One "Hot & Steamy" Atomic Summer vs. Too Many Shades of Grey

An irreverent look at how "Fifty Shades of Grey" stacks up to "Atomic Summer"

Calling all women’s fiction readers.

For a moment, put down whatever book you’re reading in the Fifty Shades trilogy and spend a few minutes with me. Publishing a debut novel in the year of a publishing phenomenon is no easy task. Eighty percent of my personal network tells me, “Elaine, as soon as I finish Fifty Shades of Grey, I’m going to read Atomic Summer.” I feel like the anchor dog on a sled team. My only view is the tails of the dogs ahead of me, and that dog is Fifty Shades of Grey. When do I get to be the lead dog? It could be awhile; after all, it is a trilogy for goodness sakes.

Instead of bemoaning my circumstances, I always play the hand I’m dealt. If I can entice E.L. James’ readers to take off the handcuffs shackling them to Fifty Shades of Grey and put me on their “must read” list, my book sales would sky rocket. I figure if I compare favorably to their current read, I may have a chance. USA Today carried an article July 10 “10 Reasons ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ has shackled readers”.

Find out what's happening in Carrollwood-Northdalewith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Let’s see how those 10 reasons compare to Atomic Summer:

1. Sex sells, but what women really crave is love – At its core, Atomic Summer is not a love story. There is love, but it is the awkward teenage type. Remember that? Never mind, I’m not helping my cause with this one.

Find out what's happening in Carrollwood-Northdalewith free, real-time updates from Patch.

2. It’s all about the handcuffs – I can’t help James’ fans here. But I have bomb shelters, air raid drills and the communal fear of nuclear war in 1953. There is no hanky panky in the bomb shelter, sorry. I know, I know, it would be a great “make out” place, but it’s in the backyard which means parents with their third eye would easily see the opposite sex descending the stairs. But there is the old Erie Canal lock hidden in the woods. You can read all about what transpires there. Ooh la la.

3. A publishing fairy tale – I’m thinking this could be me too and you can say “I read Atomic Summer before it hit the big times”. An agent once told me “I can see this as a movie. There are so many explosive situations going on. Even the title suggests bombs are going off everywhere in this book. It would be a great vehicle for a few young actresses.” So there you have it, a fairy tale prediction. Don’t be left behind.

4. Welcome to the Twilight zone – My book’s parallels to the Twilight series are that I have teenage characters. That’s it. End of comparison.

5. The writing – Reader’s reviews are mixed. Either they love Fifty Shades of Grey or it’s not their cup of tea. Wow, I just looked up on Amazon how many people wrote reviews. Let me make sure those aren’t actual book sales. Nope, they’re reviews. How do you get so many readers to write reviews? I’m envious. “A review, a review! My queendom for a review!” Sorry, I was lost in the moment. It’s not often I get to draw upon my college Shakespeare class.

Intermission – Let’s check in on how I’m doing. Hmmm. Okay, maybe comparisons 6-10 will play better in my favor.

6.  Lifestyle porn – There is the town Peeping Tom in Atomic Summer, a creepy mechanic named Lyle. That’s as close as I get with this comparison, so let’s quickly move onto the next one.

7.  E-books are today’s brown paper wrapper – Besides making it incredibility convenient to shop for books, e-books do make it easy to hide what you’re purchasing and reading. I don’t have much in the way of marketing dollars so the more people say “I’m reading Atomic Summer”, the better off I am. But if you want, you can pretend it is something illicit that you might not otherwise buy if not for the privacy of a download. After all, fiction books are about escape and suspending belief. I won’t tell.

8. An answer to Freud’s query about what women want – Does any man really know? Men will tell you themselves that we confound and confuse them, which is why I’m thinking Freud fell out of favor. Besides, it took a woman to write a book that tickled the fancy of millions of women. Men can use it as a guidebook, which is exactly what many women are hoping their men will do. But check out this fact as it relates to Atomic Summer. The Kinsey Reports, which were groundbreaking studies on human sexuality, were published in the late 1940’s and early 1950’s. My teenage girl characters sneak a copy of one of the studies to their sleep over to learn the secrets of the opposite sex. I’m thinking my comparison is starting to warm up and may catch fire with the James’ army. What do you think? Is it time to ice up the champagne and light the candles for an awkward date night?

9. Fifty shades of inescapable – You can’t help but bump into it everywhere you turn, so you might as well read it and see what all the fuss is about, right? As for Atomic Summer, it is summer and everything about my book screams, “summer read”. It takes place in the summer and has summer in the title. Pretty compelling, huh?

10. Marital aid – One reader told me, “I stayed up too late reading Atomic Summer because I couldn’t put it down. My husband was annoyed at me for reading your book because he was expecting me to read the Hunger Games with him so we could watch the movie together.” Not a compelling endorsement for a good cuddle session with your mate, is it?

Okay women’s fiction reader, I won’t quit my day job any time soon.

From Elaine D Walsh blog

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?

More from Carrollwood-Northdale