I was born on March 12, 1979 at 11:30 PM in El Paso, TX. Since I hit my 30’s, I noticed that I am more interested in being in a rewarding romantic relationship. I always thought it would be easier, and I thought I had it figured out by now. Boy, was I wrong! Previously, I didn’t want to be in a committed relationship. It seemed like every time I turned around, I ran into a woman who wanted something serious. Now, the opposite is true for me. It’s getting tougher and I’m pretty discouraged to be honest, because I am a very passionate and affectionate man and I want someone to give myself to.
However, being open and available all the time gets a bit exhausting at times. I’m not sure if I’m looking for the wrong type of woman or what the problem is. I’m writing you to see if you can help me figure out what kind of woman suits me best so I know what to look out for in the future. Ideally, I’m looking for a woman with whom I can build something sweet and spicy.
Looking for Sweet & Spicy
Advice Seeker's Chart: Ascendant Sagittarius, Sun Pisces, Moon Virgo, Mercury Aries, Venus Aquarius, Mars Pisces, and Jupiter Cancer. 7th House: Gemini.
The Ascendant describes your outward appearance, behavior, and mannerisms. The Sun reflects your core personality and the qualities of your ego. The Moon governs needs, emotions, moods, and habits; Mars rules defense mechanisms and thought processes; Mercury governs communication; Venus rules the world of love, pleasure, and desires; and Jupiter is the career sign. The 7th House describes our close relationships with others. More specifically, it indicates our attitude towards committed relationships and what kind of partner we seek and to whom we are attracted.
Dear Looking for Sweet & Spicy,
I’m thrilled that you are in this stage of your life. I realize that getting here must have been long and exhausting, but the good news is, now that you are ready to be committed, you will attract the right person. The right woman is never an easy find, and for you in particular, you have to keep in mind a few things about your nature.
At first glance, you have a dualistic nature, being that you are equal parts extroverted and introverted. I shall explain. Your Sagittarius rising indicates that you come off as a very impulsive, stubborn, passionate, versatile, intellectual, and extreme individual. Most women probably react to this first impression, rather than your inner self, which you reveal after a long period of time. Due to your Sagittarius rising, your romantic life should have been varied and intense, and as you have indicated, this holds true. Attaining a balance between staying put (i.e. a committed relationship) and flying off (i.e. flirting with other women) is one of the hold ups Sagittarius risings have.
The reason for this polarity is that while you may seek true love and harmony, you also desire personal freedom. While these two aspects are hard to marry, you are fortunate because other aspects in your chart ground you. You have to understand that at the core of your nature, you are attracted to environments and situations that do not contain you but rather allow your physical body, thoughts, emotions and actions to experience total freedom.
Your Pisces Sun and Virgo Moon combination indicates that you are balanced in regards to intuition and intellect. Your strong imagination and insight, coupled with your critical mind enable you to accomplish more than the average Joe. You are also more compassionate and understanding; in mot cases, you subsume your own personal needs to that of your partner and others in the world. Regarding this specific combination, you seek a woman who can reciprocate your love and sympathy. This has been a challenge for you, since, in the past, you were more likely to attract women who took from you rather than those who contributed to you on some greater level.
As your Venus is Aquarius, this indicates that you are drawn to unique, unconventional, and brilliant women. Also, you are experimental, open-minded, and progressive in terms of love. You don't follow traditional patterns, and you are more likely to desire a solid friendship before anything else. Since independence and freedom are top priority for you, a traditional relationship will be hard to fulfill, but not impossible. You have a strong enough mind to choose your fate and not allow your nature to get the best of you.
Since your 7th House is in Gemini, you have a need for variety, freedom, and versatility in relationships. This indicates that in the past, you were probably somewhat of a wanderer in love. It also suggests that you may have had more than one relationship at a time or at least, you were seriously engaged in long-term partnerships on several occasions. This specific placement also suggests that you are suited to being with independent and highly intellectual women.
Since we now understand your highly complex nature, here is what I suggest: 1. No one knows you better than yourself. Confront your needs and desires while remaining true and honest to yourself and your potential partner. 2. Make a list of the qualities you are looking for. Since we know that you fall in love easily and see potential in so many women, perhaps it is a good exercise in self-restraint and overall mindfulness to be aware of what you actually need as opposed to what you want. 3. Since we know that conventional, submissive, and needy women are not for you, be aware of your tendency to attract them. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, even if you feel guilty in not doing so. 4. Stop looking to see if something is wrong with you. Nothing is “wrong” with you; you simply need to understand yourself more before you find the perfect fit. Finally, I suggest you find a woman who is open-minded, creative, intelligent, loyal, multifaceted, and adventurous. Before everything else, you crave your best friend. Listen to your brain more, less your heart and body. Or at least, learn to balance all three.
One more thing, do not rush in matters of the heart. I understand that you are disappointed, but I also guarantee that a little bit of optimism and patience goes a long way.
Best of luck,